Hello From Dusseldorf again!

Date: Tuesday, May 26

Hallo Familie!

I am still in Düsseldorf, but I do have a new companion. Her name is Sister Niebergall from Murray, Utah. She is in her 5th cycle and I am in my 3rd. Yes, we are both very young on our missions, and we think our German will improve dramatically this cycle since we can´t really rely on our companions this time. :) She is good though. She understands a lot of what is being said and responds very well. :) I feel like my faith in the Lord will increase as well, because he really will be the only one I can rely on. We get a long really well though. She is very nice and patient with me. I am now in charge of the area and it has been a little stressful. You know how bad I am with directions and Düsseldorf is huge. My goal this week is to not get lost for at least one whole day. :) I know a lot more than I thought I did though. When I was with my trainer and I would be in charge of the day and I would always feel so lost but she was always there to correct me before we really went the wrong way. Now, I feel like I don´t feel as lost, and I know where to go, but it´s a matter of just getting there. :) Actually I have been pretty proud of myself for how well I have done. Whenever we do get lost we are pretty good about finding our way back. ITs funny when we get lost I say lets just ask someone for directions (thinking to myself I think I know enough German to ask that question) then my companion says yeah but then we have to understand what they are telling us. I agree, and so then we don´t ask. :) It is pretty funny. WE have had some neat experiences together so far though. We met a really cool contact the other day and we have a lesson with her on Wednesday. WE are pretty excited for that. And Baffour is back from Ghana so we are hoping to get in touch with him today. He is the one that wants to get baptized. Hurray!

I do miss my trainer though. She was such a great missionary. She was very organized, very excited about the work, knew the area, knew how to teach, knew how to speak German, always happy, very obedient. Now that she´s gone and I am in charge of the area I just feel a little overwhelmed. I feel missionary life is a representation of real life. The MTC is Pre-Earth life to prepare. Then you go to your mission meet your trainer and she starts to train you. Like when you are a baby and and little child in your parents home. Then the day comes when you´re on your own, you´re trainer is gone and you are trying to do what your trainer taught, trying to figure things out for yourself, like when you´re at college. Then when you become a trainer, you are training this new missionary that has been prepared and has a personality of their own, like when you become a parent. Missionary life is a view of real life, but intensified because it is all squished together. It provides a really good perspective. I am grateful for it.

One last thing I wanted to share was that yesterday we were helping this lady clean her house. Well it is kind of a crazy story, but anyway we agreed to go help her. When we got there we didn´t feel very good about it and it just felt filthy physically, spiritually, everything. Anyway, we were outside on her balcony helping out there and looked at this lady we were helping and the way she was living her life, then I looked up at the sky and saw the sun and I realized how close God is. He is right there for us, he wants to help us so much, but he will not force himself and his happiness on us. This lady was really struggling, and I felt bad for her, but true happiness and healing comes from God, keeping his commandments, and applying the Atonement in our lives. We need to be humble and ask for his help, for he will not force it on us. It reminded me of chores at home. Mom would never force us to do our chores she would just always invite us to do our chores, but she always left if up to us to decide. I remember having such inner struggles with the natural man and my spirit trying to decide if I wanted to do my chores or not. I have decided that it is harder (at least for me) to decide to make the right choice, than it is to just be told what to do. That is where true strength comes in for me, is making that choice. Dad was good about just telling us what to do and expecting it from us which I always appreciated because it was easier for me that way. (I finally figured it out Mom!) :) Thank you both for the way you taught me. Mom, for teaching the strength that comes from making the right decision. Dad, for teaching me what was just expected of me. That is why fathers and mothers are both needed in this world! I will save that speech for another time though. :)

The gospel is true. All that it entails. It is true. True meaning absolute, never changing, no matter what. God loves us so he teaches us the truth as fast as we are able to understand and apply it in our lives. There are so many times when I want to share something with someone an insight or a principle in the gospel I have discovered, but unless they know the basics they won´t really understand or appreciate this new thing I want to tell them. I feel like that is how Heavenly Father is with us, he has so much he wants to share with us, but we have to reach certain points of knowledge and faith before he shares more with us because he knows we won´t really understand or appreciate it otherwise. This Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is the kingdom of God on the earth and is the way to all truth, and a fullness of joy.

I love you family! No matter what! That is true!

Love
Siter Fitzgerald